12.31.2010

Bago matapos ang 2010. . .

December 31 na! Ang araw na madalas nang nakakalimutan ng mga tao kaka-prepare para sa pagsalubong sa Bagong Taon. Well, ako rin e. Kung hindi ko sinusulat ang blogpost na 'to ngayon hindi ko rin naman maaalala.

Pero hindi 'yan ang point ko.

Ang point ko, December 31 na. Bukas, January 1 na. Bukas, 2011 na. May something nostalgic na epekto ang pag-iisip na paggising mo kinabukasan, bago na naman ang lahat. Bagong paghihintay para sa Pasko (358 days to go!). Bagong pagsubok na maging mas "mabuting tao" (kahit na wala naman talagang definition pa ang mga salitang 'yun). Bagong mga araw na iiyakan, tatawanan, ikakagalit. Mga posibleng araw na may mangyayaring life-changing. Mga posible ring araw na tutungangaan mo lang.

Kung titingnang mabuti, ganyan din naman ang nagdaang taon. Ako, ganyan lang din naman. Siguro next year may trabaho na 'ko (well, DAPAT!), so siguro hindi na mauubos ang araw ko kakabasa, kakanood, kakatunganga. Siguro next year din may ibang mga assignment na ang kapatid ko na gagawin namin hanggang magmadaling-araw. Siguro din next year, may mga bagong taong (as in new people) papasok sa buhay ko at may mga lumang taong (as in old people) aalis. Siguro naman next year, magbabago na ang buhay ko.

Pero kung susumahin, hindi naman talaga masyadong masama ang last year ko. Aba, naka-graduate ako 'no. Natapos ko ang napaka-baku-bakong daan ng thesis writing. Naakyat ko ang stage kung saan naghihintay si Dean Imperial na kamayan ako at sabihan ng Congratulations.

Last year din, nagkatrabaho ako. Marami naman akong natutunan dun, gaya ng pag-order sa fastfood kapag wala kang lunch sa opisinang malayo sa sibilisasyon ng restaurants at pakikipagbakbakan sa mga taong gustong makita nang malapitan si John Pratts.

Ngunit last year din, nawalan ako ng trabaho. Hindi naman nawalan, nagpakawala. Pero natutunan ko dun sa ginawa kong 'yun ang pagkakaiba ng trabaho at kawanggawa. Haha!

Na-enhance ko din ang vocabulary ko at knowledge sa film at cinematography. Dahil 'yan sa mga binasa kong novels at pinanood na pelikula. Thank you Lord nga pala, sa Internet, sa 4shared.com, at sa Vuze downloader.

Natutunan ko ring pahalagahan ang mga taong laging nakakaalala sa'kin. Katulad ng mga kaibigan ko na bigla-bigla na lang nagtetext at tumatawag na namimiss na nila 'ko. Katulad ng mga magulang ko na, so far, hindi naman ipinipilit na magtrabaho na 'ko (sumuko na siguro) at bukal sa loob pa rin akong inaabutan ng pera kapag kailangan ko.

Mababaw lang ang naging 2010 ko, di katulad ng kay Charice na nakalabas sa Glee o ng kay Manny Pacquiao na nadagdagan ang boxing belt at boxing millions o ng kay Noynoy Aquino na naging bagong presidente ng Pilipinas.

Mababaw, pero masaya naman.

Sana sa 2011, magkaroon ng mga dagdag na kababawan, dagdag na kasiyahan, at kung papalarin (na inaasahan ko, partly dahil sabi ni Zenaida Seva), dagdag na kabuluhan.

Eto na ang year-ender post ko. Hindi ako makaisip ng realistic na New Year's Resolution e. Manigong bagong taon!

Happy 2011!

Good luck at God bless sa'ting lahat!

12.29.2010

Dahil kay Bob Ong, naalala ko . . .

(Part 1)

Oo na, loser na 'ko dahil ngayon ko lang sinimulang basahin ang mga libro ni Bob Ong. Kahit pa dati ko na s'yang kilala, kahit pa nakatatak na sa utak ko ang elevator quote n'ya. E bakit ba, ngayon ko lang napagtripan e.

Pero eto nga, binabasa ko ang ABNKKBSNPLAKo?! At hindi ko naman intensyon pero naka-relate ako sa maraming kwento ni Bob Ong, sa mga sentimyento n'ya, at sa mga reklamo n'ya tungkol sa elementary life na nadagdagan pa nung nag-high school sya. (Teka, hindi kami magka-edad ni Bob Ong ha!)

Ayun nga, naalala ko tuloy ang mga kalokohan ko nung elementary ako, kung anong buhay ko noon, kung ga'no ako kababaw, at kung ga'no ka-nakakatawa ang pag-iisip ko noon. Eto ang mga naaalala ko pa.

Nung bata kasi ako, simula Grade 2, nagbi-byahe na kaming pamilya mula Cavite hanggang Manila. Kaming magkakapatid sa Manila nag-aaral, dun din nagtatrabaho ang mga magulang ko. Okay lang naman sa'min yun. Kaya lang dapat siguradong lahat ng kailangan namin--lalo na uniform, sapatos, at medyas--e kumpleto. May isang beses, brownout sa bahay namin ng madaling-araw bago kami umalis. Alam mo ba na ang neon green kapag nasa dilim, nagkukulay-puti? Alam ko na yun nung Grade 2 pa lang ako.

Kasi yung tatay ko, ang binaon n'yang medyas para sa'kin, neon green. Akala n'ya daw kasi puti. At ang sapatos ko nun, doll shoes. Tipong kitang-kita na ang medyas mo e neon green. At ang paliwanag ko sa teacher ko, hindi natapos-tapos. Muntik pa 'kong mapa-principal nun kasi bawal ang colored socks. Pero pinaliwanag naman ng lola ko sa teacher ko kaya okay na. Pero nakakahiya talaga. Imagine-in mo, kapag hinanap mo 'ko nung mga panahong 'yun, yumuko ka lang at kapag may nakita kang neon green na medyas, ako 'yun.

Nun ding nasa elementary ako, kilala akong palaban na bata. Tipong 'wag kang haharang sa daanan ko kung gusto mong tahimik ang buhay mo.

Nung Grade 3 ako, may naging seatmate ako na ubod talaga ng taray. Uso nun yung exchange books kapag magche-check na ng seatwork, para daw 'di mangdaya (kahit yung iba, nagkukuntsabahan lang: itama mo ang mali ko, itatama ko ang mali mo, perfect tayong dalawa).

So libro n'ya ang chine-checkan ko. E nagalit s'ya kasi ang liliit ko daw maglagay ng check marks. Aba, sa inis ko, nilagyan ko ng malaking diagonal check ang buong page ng libro n'ya. At sa lalong inis ko, bumakat yun hanggang mga ten pages after--butas diagonally ang libro n'ya. S'ya ang kauna-unahang batang napaiyak ko.

Ang sumunod kong napaiyak ay kaklase ko rin, nung Grade 4 ako. May bata kasing natuwa sa plastic envelope kong de-zip lock at may design na Barbie. Pinagpasa-pasahan nila 'yun para tingnan. Hanggang may isa pang batang naglagay nung envelope sa taas ng blackboard. Aba, napakataas nun!

Tapos may nagmarunong, binato n'ya ng sapatos. E nahulog sa likod ng blackboard na may isang sako ata ng alikabok. Pagbalik sa'kin ng envelope ko, ang dumi-dumi. Inis na inis ako, sabi ko wag s'yang lalapit sa'kin at masasampal ko s'ya. Nainis s'ya sa sinabi ko, lumapit s'ya sa'kin at hinamon ako. Sinampal ko nga s'ya. Umiyak s'ya at nagsumbong sa ate n'yang Grade 6. Dapat ata natakot ako nun, kasi malaking tao yung ate n'ya. Ang nagawa ko lang, matawa. Ewan ko ba. Hindi naman ako inaway nung ate n'ya, tinanong lang ako bakit ko ginawa. Sabi ko, nanindigan lang ako. Simula nun, hanggang mag-high school kami, hindi nakalimutan ng classmate kong yun na sinampal ko s'ya dahil nagka-kulay itim ang mukha ni Barbie sa envelope ko.

May mga pagkakataon din namang ako ang mangiyak-ngiyak. Tulad kapag Intramurals season na. Dati kasi, lahat ng primary students (Grade 1-3), dapat sumayaw. Di lang basta sayaw, sayaw with costume, with partner, with practice. Yung klase ng practice na sa school grounds n'yo gagawin dahil lahat ng section kasali. Yung klase ng practice na kapag umabot ng recess time ng high school, papanoorin nila kayo at tatawanan dahil "ang cute" n'yo daw.

Nung Grade 1 ako, Macarena ang tugtog, ang damit katulad ng kay Juanita Banana--midriff at palda na ruffled pa. Tapos may marakas pang gagamitin. Nung Grade 2 naman, I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world ang ginamit nila (kung ano mang title ng kantang 'yun). Ang damit: orange na haltered top, polka dots na palda, orange na knee-high socks, puting rubber shoes. May pompoms pa at pigtails na kasama 'yan. Nung Grade 3, ethnic dance naman. Dayang-dayang. Tights and leotards na black, may maroon na checkered na paldang-tapi lang, at dalawang gold na pamaypay

Nako talaga, sa t'wing sasapit ang November nun, dinadasal ko kay Lord na magkasakit ako nang malubha. Yung one week akong aabsent. Kaso, grade ko naman sa PE ang nakasalalay, at maski nung bata pa 'ko, PE pa sa lahat ng subject ang nagiging problema ko kung pano ko ipapasa.

Naiiyak din ako kapag Math subject na. Na nung Grade 2 ako, itinuro ng isang teacher na kapag nagkamali ka isisigaw n'yang talagang mali ka at aabot hanggang sa kabilang section ang katotohanang nagkamali ka. Tapos ipapaulit n'ya sa'yo nang ipapaulit hanggang 'di ka tumatama. Isa lang ang pagkakataon na nasigawan n'ya ko pero simula nun tumatak sa utak kong tanga ako sa Math.

Nung Grade 4 naman ako, pinagrecite kami ng Multiplication Table. Isang set bawat bata, bawal ang magbilang ng mano-mano (9! 18! 27!--28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35--36!. . . ). Ayokong-ayokong matawag nun. Kaso, malas, dahil lahat tatawagin talaga. At ang napunta sa'kin? Ang walang pattern, walang rhythm, at walang kadali-daling Multiples of 8! Ang pinakamahirap na Multiplication Table! Sa t'wing magkakabisa pa naman ako ng multiplication tables dati, lagi kong nilalagpasan ang multiples of 8 kasi nga ang hirap.

Kung bakit nung araw na 'yun 'di na lang by 10s ang nakuha ko kagaya ng sa isa kong kaklase na ngingisi-ngisi pa habang nagrerecite s'ya dahil sigurado na s'yang 100% ang grade n'ya sa recitation (nung elementary, posible ang 100%). Ang ginawa ko na lang, nilagay ko sa bulsa ng palda ko ang isa kong kamay at habang nirerecite ko nang paunti-unti, nagbibilang ako sa kamay. Awa ng Diyos, umabot ako hanggang dulo na ang binilang ko lang sa kamay--kasabay ng butil-butil na pawis dahil gusto kong maka-100%--ay ang 8 x 4, 8 x 7, at 8 x 9.

Nakakaloka ang elementary. Napaka. Siguro ikaw may mas magandang elementary memories. Pero aminin mo, mababaw talaga ang mga kaligayahan nun. At yung mga kahihiyan, awayan, at kalungkutan, hindi mo talaga makalimutan. At parang di ganoon kababaw. Hay.

Madami pa, at madami pa talaga, ang mga naalala ko. Pero sige, tatapusin ko muna ang libro bago ko i-share ang iba. Sa susunod ulit.

12.26.2010

Fun December 25th

Fun, fun Christmas day yesterday! And a Christmas dinner the night before that (or the midnight).

1. We only had a handful of foods--pizza, pork barbecue, ham, carbonara, bread, salad, and sweets. But that's fine seeing as there were only five of us (no diet-er, however).

2. Not a lot of gifts as my mother decided to just give out cash. I'd say that was a whole lot better! Haha. Or I would, if I got to receive one. Bleh.

3. Went to Pink Sisters, Tagaytay. Now I'm refilled with hope of getting that job. Pinky hope!

4. Tagaytay was blasting with cold air. It was so cold even my button-down with elbow-reaching sleeves proved defenseless. But what could we do, it was Christmas air after all.

5. Lunched at Jollibee. Because my nephew could only reply one word when you ask where he'd want to eat: "Bee!!!".

6. Jollibee at Tagaytay had this Kiddieland area, where the young ones could play and slide down and climb up. Turns out, the nephew needed "adult supervision" (and help climbing up) because he's barely two years of age. As it further turns out, I was the only non-kid who could fit inside to help him out. Figures!

7. Christmas was fun. Did I say that, already? Well, it was!

12.20.2010

This, I swear, is just a stray thought . . .

Sometimes, I wonder if I'd ever live beyond 30. That's weird, I know. I also think about how my life would meet its end. Diabetes, perhaps, because I indulge in too much sugary foods? Or probably an accident, because I'm too much of klutz for a dangerous world? Or, well, a heart failure?

But I hope I get to live beyond that (hey, it's 9 years from now, don't tell me I only got as swift a life as that).

12.13.2010

Amidst a Sponge and Dishwashing Liquid

You know how there are times when we do something, like a chore, that doesn't really require 100% of your mind? And how in those times, you can actually think about other stuffs?

That happens to me, always. Thrice everyday. Sometimes even more, because I get to wash the dishes in between mealtimes. But yes, every time my hands work mechanically and automatically to clean the dishes we've used, the freer part of my mind wanders.

Sometimes, I think about myself. I think about my personality, for some reason. I think about how I would introduce myself to someone with a true intention of getting to know me.
I am an independent person who, on special times like the weekends, tend to take a backseat while my parents man my life. Because it's one of those cherish-able moments when I can just watch as my life unfolds in front of me, not minding if I'm not the one making the decisions, if I'm not weighing my options, or if I'm not thinking about answers.
Other times, I think about the people around me. My parents, my brother and his son, my sister, and how their lives are in great connection to mine.
I wish my brother would learn to close the door behind him when he goes out of the house. I wish my sister won't text too much, especially if we're supposed to be talking about her homeworks. I wish my parents are here to tell me what to do with the many enquiries of our neighbors. I wish this lot don't keep on taking for granted the fact that I'm always around to fix things after and for them.
There are also times when I simply imagine. I conjure images of myself. I try to place myself in other peoples' shoes. What if I'm the one in their position? What would I do? Or sometimes, I imagine the things I would do and the reactions I would have if I suddenly find myself doing and having and going to places and things I've always dreamed of.
Would I not listen to Anna if I were Sara Fitzgerald? Would I not leave Tom if I were Summer? How would I deal with my son if he fought with his sister over Oreos like those mothers I see on television? If I get to Paris, first thing I'd look for is a French tutor. And then a chef I could befriend and learn about all those French cuisines. Of course, I'd go looking at the mannequins of all them famous designers. If I ever get my novel published, I'd sign with my first and last name. Not with the middle-first name because it'd be too long. And if I ever get interviewed about that book, I'd tell the world how I never really thought I could finish it.
And then at times, I veer away from my present and into the past. Sue me for that, because yes, in as much as I don't want to I think about what-ifs. I think about what would have happened if I decided on the other option and not the one I picked.
What if I went to my mother's alma mater rather than UP? What if I didn't turn my back against my best friend? What if I didn't become friends with all my friends now? How would my life be if I lasted more than a month and a half in that wretched job?
These are funny thoughts, I know. And this is a funny habit. Especially for someone who's got a whole lot other times when she can think deeply than when she's doing the dishes.

But there's something assuring in being aware that, while my thoughts run wild and sometimes embarrassing, I only have the dirty plates and the blank blue wall in front of me as witnesses. And that somehow, when I turn the faucet off, my thoughts would break in mid-thought, snapping me back to my reality.

It's as good a cross between the imaginative world and the real one as any, I guess.

Try it sometime. There're a wide array of choices, like while doing the laundry or ironing your clothes. Give your mind a break.

12.09.2010

Too

Yesterday, one of my college friends texted me and said she missed me.

The night before that, another one of my college friends texted me with a simple "Frnd?". I replied only yesterday and asked her why she texted. She said she just missed us/me.

And today, I got to talk to one of my closest high school friends again after almost a year. She said she missed talking to me.

I'm not very expressive, that much my friends know. And somehow, I think they didn't really expect me to say back the words they tell me. So I totally appreciate it when they, out-of-the-blue, simply remember and say stuffs like that to me. Even if I can't say them back. Even if sometimes I can retort rather indifferently.

And just like a mother who hears from her children again after a long time, my heart is filled with joy. Hey, wait, that's not a good metaphor. HAHA.

Thank you, girls. You never cease to make me feel loved. Despite my harshness.

And for once, I'm saying: I miss you, too. :)

12.01.2010

Versatile Blogger Award from Judy


exCOMMUNICADO, a blog of my college friend Judy, has just given me the Versatile Blogger Award. It's a sort of chain of awards given by bloggers to their fellow blog-keepers. And since being awarded with such relies on the giver's view of the awardee's blog, I highly appreciate being given this.

Rules for Winning the Award

1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 15 other bloggers who you recently discovered and think are fabulous.
4. Contact those you selected and let them know.

Lotsa Thanks, Judy!

Judy is a good, good college friend of mine. I've read most of her blog pieces and she's definitely taken to a lot of topics of different interesting fields. Her blog, exCOMMUNICADO, is surely a must read and very well-deserving of the Versatile Blogger Award.

Which is why for me to be given this award by her is more than an honor. Thanks and long live Judy! :)

Seven Things About Me

1. I don't care if I'm relatively small, 4'10", for a 21-year-old (even if it's always the first thing that pops in my head when I do lists like this one).
2. My biggest dream right now is to finish a novel.

3. Number 1 on my Christmas wishlist this year is: to get a job.

4. One thing that never fails to make me smile on a bad day is chocolate ice cream.

5. I have strong issues against commitment, getting married, and relationships. If you've been reading this blog ever since it's started, you'd know why.

6. I am an aunt to my 19-year-old brother's 1-year-old son. Implications may or may not be present.

7. Bring me to Paris today and I swear I'd let you kill me tomorrow. :)

12 Versatile Bloggers

These are bloggers who, for the life of me, I don't understand how they keep such amazing blogs. (List is at random, promise). I can only come up with 12, because to name a blogger as versatile means you have read their posts ardently.

Hoping I'm not breaking (very much) the rules for this award, I present you my chosen 12:

1. Nash Albacea (I Am Under the Bridge)
2. Ana Arcega (She's Got to Love Nobody)
3. Irish Mangubat (Over a Piece of Cake)
4. Paula Batalla (Twix for my Fix)
5. Camille Binuya (An Organized Mess)
11. Lucy Aaltje (The Sunset Girl)

If you're one of the 12, I think you're supposed to follow the same set of rules.
Congratulations, people! Keep writing!