Just because . . .

(Not so sure if this is really by William Shakespeare. They say it is.)

Well, at some point, it can be true. You just have to believe. And stop wishing to get everything in the form that you want them to take.


Source: White Paper Quotes

Take that shot?

I've been reading lots of fanfictions whenever I can. Mostly, they're Harry Potter and The Hunger Games fanfics because they're the ones I can best relate to.

And because of my overwhelming emotions over The Hunger Games and my forever longing for more of Harry Potter, I'm kind of thinking of turning Tarradiddles into my own fanfic pal. Yes, it's still alive (for all those who know this page is existing). But I haven't gotten 'round to posting in there for about half a year already and it's eating me up to pieces. I cannot just delete the entire blog because of course, that's my heart in there.

So occasionally, I might be posting my first fanfics in there. I'll try to be as good as other fanfic writers are but really, I can be clutching at straws here.

Whew. So much for being a blogger who does not always login, right?

I just wish I can get this shot done nice as I could.

Sun, water, wind and spontaneity

Well, spontaneity has never really rhymed well with my family. But yesterday, out of nowhere, my mother decided to call on our relatives and herd us off to a beach outing. Yay for me, who's been so stressed lately that I have not imagined anything so nice and fun can happen in just a jiffy.

We didn't really had to go too far because Cavite's known for its own share of the bay and the water. We only had to travel for at most an hour (it was only supposed to be half, but thanks to them excavations travel time was doubled up).

Then we got to Villa Excellance in Tanza, a public (and really affordable) beach resort.

Villa Excellance, Tanza, Cavite (seatholidays.com)

I did like the place, even if it's teeming with people, because it's fun and the water's relaxing. We had a bit of rain in the middle of the day, which caused the place to go wild with the wind. But on the whole, you would appreciate being close to nature and the water.

You would instantly be greeted by greenery at the entrance.

Then by the water and the howling wind (and of course, all them people)

Even the small huts provide good shade.

And definitely would allow you to relax.

Especially if you came with a trusted friend.

It was just a bit crazy that we didn't really plan on this. Hence, we didn't get to pack properly. Everything was cooked at home but then we just hauled them into the van--yes, pots and pans (and rice cooker!) included. LOL.

Though my sister didn't seem to mind much. Delicious, eh? She's sipping coffee here, the wind got madly cold, I swear. Good thing it was only just for about half an hour. Then the sun was up again.

One glitch that I found though in this whole trip: you can't seem to get away from the sand! Haha! Seriously, it's just everywhere.

Like in my feet and legs (eeeeekkkk)

But what choice do I have, right?

Good thing the sand's always swept clean or else I'd be trudging around bits of plastic and food as well. Not!

At the end of the afternoon, no matter how tired we all got from battling with the heat and the waves the important thing is that we enjoyed. Immensely. Especially our little prince here:

I didn't get to photograph him while he was out chasing the waves on this rafter as I was using a camera phone and well, waves cannot just be trusted like that. Haha.

The day was a lot of fun, superbly. And I'm looking forward to more of it for the next weeks to come.

Summer is officially on!

Finish line

In as much as I don't want this to be a negative post, I'm afraid it is. Already, since I have not so many positive things within my heart right now.

I'm tired. I feel bad. It's like being filled with so much of the negative that I don't know anymore the boundaries. Do you know how it feels as if you are surrounded by bombs? That if you step just one foot into the wrong point, you'd blow into pieces? That's exactly how I feel this very moment.

People are not particularly nice. I'm in silent-treatment-relationship with my immediate boss. And all of my clients are plainly cruel.

Every single day, I think of quitting. I think that I don't want to do this anymore. I think that I just want a more peaceful environment.

But then I look around all of my friends-slash-co-workers, I get my ATM reloaded every 10 days, and I'm given the chance to spend on anything I like. They're stupidly shallow reasons, almost to the point of being childish and astoundingly minute factors. Yet they make me want to stay.

Or maybe it's just really the fact that I don't have anywhere else to go--yet.

* BIG sigh *

I don't know what to do anymore.

God, give me more strength. Let me keep on running. Even if I don't see the finish line.

i don't think it's deja vu

maybe there really is just that kind of thing that you do and feel every time even if you have already been hurt by something like it before.

like saying yes to a job you don't really know how to do.

like making a promise and shattering it to irreparable pieces.

like falling for a person you know would never be yours.

i don't think it's deja vu. i think it has something to do with the kind of heart you have. and your natural knack of liking something that does not agree with you.

Broken

Photo from http://newyorktoparis.tumblr.com/

The other would have been

There is a PDF file in my laptop that's been there since November 2011. It's something my friend Paula and I talked about having before in line with a dream we both share.

Yeah, you've read that right. It's the online app form for UP LAE.

I do admit to having forgotten about this particular file and the deadline indicated in it. Supposedly, I have submitted it before and the exam I will soon be taking if not taken already. But I have not. And just the other day, I have come across a news item that I search for year after year since I was a senior college student: Bar Exam Passers.

Then flashback to 2010. People asked me why I didn't take the exam. Some did not blatantly said so but still had that big-eyed surprised look on them when I said I didn't.

This is my heart's other would have been. I want, still and will always do, to take that fateful exam. To know if I can get through. To finally have that forked roads that would make me choose between my now and my dream.

Yet I still do not know why I would only download the form every time it comes up and then ignore it until way past the deadline. I still have no idea why I won't push for it or why I would still evade question after question related to it.

All I know is that I want to be a lawyer but I'm scared as hell on how it would change my life forever. Besides, I'm not so sure what I want anymore now that I am being presented alternatives by none other than life itself.

(photo from http://www.flickr.com/people/perksofjenna/)