Well. I suppose I never learn, do I?
It is crazy. Finding myself in almost the same situation I have fought so hard to leave more than 3 years ago. And to be writing about it again. Now, when nothing has really happened. Yet.
How many times would I have to be in this kind of story before I start seeing the scenes that foreshadow one another?
I would like to think that this is different. That it would turn out to be different. It has to be, because I would not know how to get out of this one anymore. Crud, I do not even know how much of my once broken heart has been healed. Hence, risking it out like that again would be suicidal.
Oh well. I may be doing a bit of over-thinking. Nothing has happened. And fine, maybe it is because I have not yet allowed anything yet, not even a word to be said about this. I still enjoy the kind of company we make for each other. But right now, it's just that. Nothing more.
I just have to get this out or it would ruin everything.
7.23.2012
7.10.2012
Halt
I'm dead tired.
They say I cannot go on like this or my body might walk out on me, never to return again.
I don't want that to happen. But I have to keep on going despite of the exhaustion.
Some days, I wish things would be just as easy as saying I don't want to anymore and then they'd all stop.
They say I cannot go on like this or my body might walk out on me, never to return again.
I don't want that to happen. But I have to keep on going despite of the exhaustion.
Some days, I wish things would be just as easy as saying I don't want to anymore and then they'd all stop.
6.22.2012
Back to books
I miss reading. So much.
I have grown up knowing and being told that the only thing I'm (probably) good at is writing. And that, I have always connected to the fact that I have learned a lot from the authors who created my favorite novels.
This is also the reason that I try to read as often as possible. Books are almost a permanent item in my list of things-to-buy on paydays and also in my wish lists of things I want to receive on my birthday and on Christmas. I consider books as great friends because it is through them that I am given the chance to meet different people, get in touch with my emotions and go to places I know I'd never be.
Books also have given me people and names and lessons to cherish for the rest of my life. I'm glad that I am one of the minority that has known of Harry Potter and Katniss Everdeen before everybody else has seen them in motion pictures.
Lately though, I seem to have lost my reading gusto. I hate to say it but these past few days, I have more than once tried and failed to continue with a novel that I have started already. My books stacked neatly in my closet, unopened and unread since they are purchased, are growing in number. It alarms me how I could only look at them without opening them.
Mostly, I have fatigue to blame for it. I know I may only be making a sore excuse out of it. But it's kind of true. I go home everyday feeling tired and beaten. My mind is screaming for the time to do things that I would not need to think about or simply to rest. Needless to say, my mind takes over my entire body and vehemently rejects reading at night.
Oh well. I'm trying my best to overcome this. Someday, and at the soonest possible time, I would fight hard to regain my reading enthusiasm.
I will open my books again, smell their unique scent and find myself transported to another world.
I have grown up knowing and being told that the only thing I'm (probably) good at is writing. And that, I have always connected to the fact that I have learned a lot from the authors who created my favorite novels.
This is also the reason that I try to read as often as possible. Books are almost a permanent item in my list of things-to-buy on paydays and also in my wish lists of things I want to receive on my birthday and on Christmas. I consider books as great friends because it is through them that I am given the chance to meet different people, get in touch with my emotions and go to places I know I'd never be.
Books also have given me people and names and lessons to cherish for the rest of my life. I'm glad that I am one of the minority that has known of Harry Potter and Katniss Everdeen before everybody else has seen them in motion pictures.
Lately though, I seem to have lost my reading gusto. I hate to say it but these past few days, I have more than once tried and failed to continue with a novel that I have started already. My books stacked neatly in my closet, unopened and unread since they are purchased, are growing in number. It alarms me how I could only look at them without opening them.
Mostly, I have fatigue to blame for it. I know I may only be making a sore excuse out of it. But it's kind of true. I go home everyday feeling tired and beaten. My mind is screaming for the time to do things that I would not need to think about or simply to rest. Needless to say, my mind takes over my entire body and vehemently rejects reading at night.
Oh well. I'm trying my best to overcome this. Someday, and at the soonest possible time, I would fight hard to regain my reading enthusiasm.
I will open my books again, smell their unique scent and find myself transported to another world.
6.02.2012
Could not believe we already have 3 years behind us
May 27 was a pre-celebration of my nephew Kheeno's 3rd birthday and a last summer outing with the family. We went somewhere near, of course, because it was a Sunday and we could not really stay overnight. Cherry's Pavilion & Resort at Kawit, Cavite was a cool and fun place. Not a beach resort, sadly, but all the other places were damn packed.
These kids are around 3 to 4 years old. Hahahaha! Akala mo talaga seryosong nag-uusap!
The next day, May 28, was Kheeno's real birth date. Since we were all tired (superbly, my mom and I had to go off work for the day), we weren't able to hold another food-only party. So we just cooked pansit and bought a cake.
Oh well. It was still one of our best celebrations. Haha! Happy 3rd year on earth, kid!
The day was full of laughter and crazy conversations. It was tiring of course but as it was already the last that we probably had seen a full sunny day, it could not get any better.
The kids were way tired already that I thought that was what they were talking about here:
These kids are around 3 to 4 years old. Hahahaha! Akala mo talaga seryosong nag-uusap!
The next day, May 28, was Kheeno's real birth date. Since we were all tired (superbly, my mom and I had to go off work for the day), we weren't able to hold another food-only party. So we just cooked pansit and bought a cake.
We also gave him balloons! But crazy kid would not blow his candles with everybody watching him. Seriously!
Oh well. It was still one of our best celebrations. Haha! Happy 3rd year on earth, kid!
5.31.2012
5.24.2012
This can be a good life
May 12 to 13, 2012
La Luz Beach Resort
Laiya, Batangas
If only I can be here everyday, where the sand meets the water without hesitation. Where the sun does not hurt. And when life seems to be rocked gently by the wind.
5.16.2012
Well, you can. With a voice like that.
I Can't Make You Love Me - Adele
Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize. Don't patronize me.
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't.
I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holdin me
Mornin' will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight.
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
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