From reality to insanity and back again

Sometimes, I just wanna go crazy. Mad enough to do stuffs I wouldn't normally do. In front of so many people. Not caring at all about their judgment, their thoughts, and the hatred in their eyes.

There are days when I wanna scream at every idiot trying to park their cars outside the designated lanes. Or go on a glass-breaking trip to the mall where everything I touch would be shattered to pieces. And by the end of that trip, I would simply go to the cashier and hand over a million bucks to pay for everything I've broken.

Other days find me wishing I can just dance in the middle of the street. Sing with the loudest voice I can manage. And just lay on the cement road daring every driver to run their car over me.

Admittedly, there are also days when I wanna be fatally crazy. As in hold my breath 'til my brain uses up all its oxygen supply and just dies on the spot. Or haul my body into a fast-arriving car.

Now, if all of these are in my mind, I can't help but wonder how much of them I could actually hold in.  Every single day, people make me relive these thoughts thus making the insanity so tempting. I could cave in to these morbid and stupid thoughts. I could lose.

I choose not to, every single day. Thank God, I still can do.

Photo from: Beth Hollingsworth