3.12.2011

Silver Lining

I lost my free time two weeks ago and I liked it.

In my previous, much previous, post I said things were changing and that I was trying my best to keep up with 'em and that I won't be anywhere for quite some time yet. Now, it's been two weeks after and I still think I haven't kept up any better. But I am trying.

Mornings are nice, what with a calm sea and crisp breeze to say hello to. The sun's rays glitter unto the water's surface, making one forget the fact that global warming occurs. Boats and yachts and even the bigger ships loiter about the vast waters lazily, as if they have all day and nothing to do. At night, before I go home, I see the same waters and together, we can goodbye to the day that has passed.

I like that part very much--seeing the more silent side of the metropolis. More than anything though, I like the irony it brings. I like how everything is just a sheet of almost immobile and monochromatic blue outside the window when what awaits me inside is worse than a fierce storm. Or that when you turn to the other side of the building, cars and buses are battling out for a space of the highway.

Or that when the clocks say nine, my own battle starts. Being in a position where you have to exercise patience as if your life depended on it is a tough feat--especially for someone who has always forged her way through nastiness. I am in a firing range, and from how things look like, I am on the targets' side. And everybody else on the other side has loaded armories.

What's tougher is the fact that you cannot fire back. You can only dodge the bullets, hoping to the heavens they don't hit you.

But at the end of everyday, I have some things to smile about. That is, aside from the amazing sunset views.

First, I go home to and with parents that have finally found the satisfaction of knowing their eldest (and by all accounts most accomplished) child has landed an acceptable job.

Second, the material returns are good. They're not enough to give me the kind of life I wish for--independent and prosperous--but they'll do lots for now.

Third and last, I feel in my element again. I am a communications kid, if I can put it as bluntly so. Which means that basically, I am trained to be an able speaker and listener through verbal and written media. That's what I do now, to some extent--make sure my message has reached its target and that I have accurately done the receiving part of any conversation.

These and many other smaller things make my past two weeks bearable. And instead of ranting about those that flips the case to the other side, I guess I can do better.

That is, to look for the silver lining (in between the blue sky and the bluer sea).