There is a PDF file in my laptop that's been there since November 2011. It's something my friend Paula and I talked about having before in line with a dream we both share.
Yeah, you've read that right. It's the online app form for UP LAE.
I do admit to having forgotten about this particular file and the deadline indicated in it. Supposedly, I have submitted it before and the exam I will soon be taking if not taken already. But I have not. And just the other day, I have come across a news item that I search for year after year since I was a senior college student: Bar Exam Passers.
Then flashback to 2010. People asked me why I didn't take the exam. Some did not blatantly said so but still had that big-eyed surprised look on them when I said I didn't.
This is my heart's other would have been. I want, still and will always do, to take that fateful exam. To know if I can get through. To finally have that forked roads that would make me choose between my now and my dream.
Yet I still do not know why I would only download the form every time it comes up and then ignore it until way past the deadline. I still have no idea why I won't push for it or why I would still evade question after question related to it.
All I know is that I want to be a lawyer but I'm scared as hell on how it would change my life forever. Besides, I'm not so sure what I want anymore now that I am being presented alternatives by none other than life itself.
(photo from http://www.flickr.com/people/perksofjenna/)
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