The Unexpected Difference

(2nd of two post-Fathers' Day entries)

At first glance, my brother is just like any other 19-year-old. Fine, maybe a little different. That's in terms of his lack of enthusiasm for anything academic, his non-compliance to house rules, his knack for vises when they're most prohibited, and his everyday habit of irritating his sisters.

But he's still a teen who loves Lakers-vs-Celtics shows, who bikes and plays basketball, who goes out with friends, and who dances in school programs.

Yes, at first glance, my brother's just like any other teen. Except for one thing.

At 19, he also is a father to a 1-year-old.

Kheeno, my pamangkin, just turned a year old last May 28. If you do Maths (which I don't, seriously), you'd come to realize that he's been my brother's son for the a little over a year. Kheeno lives with his mother and visits us every week.

Kheeno with his 1st birthday gift

The whole thing was a shock, needless to say. To my mother, who's always almost begged for my brother to lessen his failing marks. To my father, who's also had his first kid at 19. To my younger sister, who's never thought she'd be an aunt at 14.

And even to me, who's always known that my parents' first grandchild would not be mine. I did not expect that too soon.

But despite all the shock, all the hurting words my brother's girlfriend's mother had thrown at us, and all the adjustments we've had to make, I still find something worthy of Kheeno's unexpected arrival.

My brother is now as responsible as he's got to be.

He now saves his allowance, not for new clothes but for his son's milk and diapers. He now cares about rashes and sneezing. He has also developed a fondness for children's toys.

My brother, Roy, and his son

We've never spoken ill of Kheeno or of the early parenthood (and early grandparent-hood and aunt-hood). We've come to accept him as one of us.

The child has brought us a new liking for anything with lights and sounds. He's given us something to look forward to every weekend. And he's made us be well aware of things we've never thought we'd encounter.

But if there is one more thing Kheeno has brought to us, it's a sense of hope. Hope that my brother won't turn out to be what we've always feared he will. Hope that by next year, college graduation for him would come. Hope that from now on, he'd work harder for a better him.