il bel far niente

Hello, my dear blog. Aren't you glad I'm kinda back? Yes, I know, I haven't been around lately. I'm sorry for that. But believe me when I say not even you would want me around at the time that I've not been. Because, I don't know. Maybe I'd only be redundantly and overly dramatic over some fact we both know is as steady as steel. One post is enough, isn't it?

So what have I been doing during those times that I have chosen to neglect you? Frankly, nothing much.

Well, you know I've quit working (I told you, right? But if I didn't, well, now you know.) in that mad slaughterhouse of a company. Not a lot of hard feelings there, just blatant truth. I'm not ready to die for them, to be succinct about it.

Now, I'm looking for a new job. This time, it's harder. Because hey, I have my reservations now against companies of the same skin as my old employer's. Or not, entirely. I just want to make sure that my second job would be kinder to me, that's all.

Also, I've been through life-related news these past few weeks. The start and end of a life, whether or not it's closely related to you, is harder to comprehend than I've thought it would be. I still don't understand, and I think I won't for a real long time. I can't even say it's good that these aren't happening directly to me or I'd go nuts. Because, honestly, I'd rather they happen to me than to them. But life has its reasons, that much we know.

I'm pausing a lot, to tell you, to think of what else to tell you. I cannot be sure if my mind has simply gone blank or nothing worth talking about is occurring in my life now. Or maybe I have developed indifference anew. Maybe I don't care anymore. Again, like before.

But I hope not. Seriously. I find my surroundings more interesting when I pry and look at them with more than a passing glance, really.

It's going to be Christmas soon, dear. And I'm sad and happy at the same time. Happy because it's Christmas, after all. Time for presents and merry greetings. But sad because . . . well, because even if I do get a job before that I still wouldn't have 13th month pay. (That is sad, 'kay?)

*big sigh*

That's enough for now, blog. (Sometimes, I think it would be easier for us if you get a nickname. What do you think?) I promise to brood and contemplate deeper so I'd get to write about more substantial stuffs to you.

But for the time being, let's enjoy il bel far niente.