He: I wanted to tell you something important
She: So I felt.
He: You do know what November is for me, right?
She: Your birthday, how can I forget.
He: Next year will be more important.
She: Because you're getting married?
He: You know already?
She: I guessed. But I know you more than enough that my guesses usually come true.
He: Maybe. You're right.
She: I see. Good for you.
He: You're the first person I've ever told.
She: I'm not coming. I'm telling you now before you even ask.
He: You don't want to?
She: I do. But I cannot. I can play godmother to your child all you want. But that's the best I can offer. That's all I can give. Nothing more. And definitely not this one.
He: I understand. Although of course I'd be happier if you're there.
She: I know. But after all I've given up just to make you happy? I don't think you're being fair. I can't, that's final. I have myself to love, you know.
He: Do you think all of these would happen if we ended up together?
She: Of course not. I can't give you what she's given. I can't be what she is now, not even for you. Not then, not now, and not in the nearest future.
He: But I wouldn't have asked you those. I know you two are different. I would have settled. Things would have been different had you given it a chance.
She: I came back. You know I did. But there was nothing waiting for me.
He: I didn't know you would.
She: Nor did I, to be honest. I didn't know I would, or that I could.
He: I should have waited.
She: No, you shouldn't. You did the right thing, moved on. Now, after everything, after the pain, I know what you did was right. Because even if you waited and I did come back, it wouldn't last long. I wouldn't last long. And I would have hurt you again. More than I did when I shunned you. And I would be in more pain than I was before. And who knows, that might be sacrificing what little friendship had remained now. This, what we have right now, this would be gone. I wouldn't like that.
He: Maybe.
She: You're my bestfriend. And you'll always be. Maybe you're tired from hearing that, but it's true. And someday, we both would be thankful we stayed that way, that we didn't risk it.
He: I'm already thankful for that.
She: Then you shouldn't really be asking me what-ifs.
He: Sorry.
She: So that's all?
He: Will you think about it?
She: Coming? No. I already said no.
He: Then I'll just see you on my birthday.
She: This year?
He: Yes.
She: Okay. See you.
Aww. Pang-tarradiddles 'to ah. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm in awe. Really. I'm not sure if this is a based-in-a-true-to-life-story, but it... I don't know.. i feel sad and happy after reading it. Schizo? Haha. :)
Galing mo boss. Playful yet strong words. :)
HAHA.I wish I can say where this post came from. It's supposed to be happy, to some extent, because it's about acceptance and letting go. LOL. Thanks, Camille.
ReplyDeleteHey Inay! You never tell me things about you-know-what so I'm glad whenever I get to read your blogs. LOL. You are such a strong--and scary, too--woman. Haha
ReplyDeleteSuperbly late reply, dear, sorry. HAHAHA. A hearty laugh for that. I wish we can someday eliminate "scary". But I'm not totally against it, so let's let the adjective eliminate itself.
ReplyDeleteAnd, and. You're too "young" for kwentos about you-know-what. :))))