Just This Once

Please stop asking me what's next. I don't have a list of what I can do. And frankly, I don't think the world has one for me either. I only have a list of what I want to do, which as you have made a bit clearer, is not good enough.

I know I've failed. In so many ways one can put it, I have failed. But that doesn't mean I will again if I get the chance. I am not born a failure. Whatever you think on the subject of my intellect, I am not as stupid as you call me.

Please give me another chance. Please stop giving me your options, not because I don't want them but because I can't do them. There is a difference between choices and dreams. I am living off choices right now. I have been living off them ever since I can remember.

No regrets, no hard feelings. Love makes choices bearable, that I always believe in. So I daresay my choices were, are, will always be bearable. Sometimes, with so much love backing those choices up, they even make me happy.

But please, this time, let me at least start thinking about chasing my dreams. At least, give me the chance to hope that maybe, just maybe, my dreams are worth working hard for. That's all I ask.

I ask that you give me this, not as a form of returning what I have given, but as an indication that you believe in  me. And that you love me enough to set me free.